


Add It Up

by flordesombra



Series: Big Feelings™ [2]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:33:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27337228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flordesombra/pseuds/flordesombra
Summary: Sequel to my previous work, Kiss Off. 25+ years after Mac and Dennis teen make-out session, Dennis examines his Big Feelings™, and the part Mac has in them. Unfortunately, it might be too late.
Relationships: Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Series: Big Feelings™ [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996105
Comments: 9
Kudos: 70





	Add It Up

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this has been a treat, but made even more better thanks to my beta, Macronalds (https://macronalds.tumblr.com), who shaped a mess of poor punctuation and Briticisms into something to be proud of. 
> 
> The title, like the prequel's, comes from songs by the Violent Femmes. They are great tunes, and I feel the sentiment is rather fitting. Also, as I am terrible with titles, they have really saved my arse.

For the past six months, it’s like he hasn’t even been himself. A grey entity has entered the mortal realm, taking over his life, and he’s going through the motions while the greyness takes the wheel. 

Coming back from North Dakota, he believed going back to basics was the way to go to feel somewhat normal again. And it was a relief to see everybody was keeping with their canon: Frank was gross, Charlie was random, Dee was a bitch, Dennis was a bastard. Mac was gay and annoying. 

Mac is... extremely gay now. And it does annoy Dennis.

Not in a homophobic way, c’mon. 

Mac has gayed things up several notches, while Dennis was away. He has also transformed into the muscle monster he could only dream of when he was “cultivating mass”. 

Dennis is man enough to admit it is all quite intimidating and, spurred on by his bastard ways, his best defense is to attack. He is disappointed in himself for only managing to call Mac fat. Pathetic. Dennis can do better. 

Mac isn’t deterred for long. Maybe it’s the dopamine from his newly acquired six-days-a-week hardcore training regime. Maybe he now has a horde of twinks that have never seen any better examples of prime beef than him, feeding his ego. Maybe it’s Mac’s puppy-dog optimism. The thing is, he keeps making passes at Dennis, flirting outrageously, even trying to kiss him, which he hadn’t attempted since 2012. 

Dennis’s body goes through a rollercoaster of emotions every time he wonders if it’s because he’s giving off signals. 

He’s been getting this terrifying image in his head, of his bathroom flooding and himself trying to keep the door closed, and if he gives in even half an inch, the whole mass of water is going to overflow, blast that door wide open and make a mess of everything. 

It’s all Mac’s fault, this tangle of emotions. Because Dennis can track this back to the RPG episode. Mac must have dislodged a bigger chunk of feelings than Dennis thought initially. That is why, when Mandy sends him a picture of Brian Jr. holding a poorly drawn heart as a Valentine’s message that night, he (having drunk three-quarters of a bottle of tequila) rushes to invite her to Philly. Mandy hadn’t been particularly pushy with the whole parenting thing, but she sure is happy that Dennis (Brian) is showing interest in Brian Jr.

Both of them had provided a good distraction from his suddenly unleashed Big Feelings. Too bad he gets cold feet and ends up tangled in Mac’s scheme, even when he knows Mac’s ADHD makes him a really bad schemer. Mac, of course, proves Dennis right, accomplishing nothing with the whole charade of the two of them being emotionally involved. Why does he always have to do that, mixing his feelings into their plans? For crying out loud, Dennis has only just re-discovered his own emotions, after being numb for so long. It’s too much pressure, and his son is the last rope to get a hold of in the midst of the shipwreck. 

Mandy welcomes him to her home, and when it doesn’t work between them she’s still okay with letting him stay in the spare room. And she continues to understand when he tells her he misses home. She is nothing but eternally nonjudgemental about Dennis and his freak friends. It makes him ache, knowing how much better she is than him. Being with virtuous people always brings to light how tainted he is, which is another reason why he has to leave North Dakota

On his way back, he expected to have to deal with Mac’s usual emotional neediness. What he wasn’t ready for was how much Mac was going to make clear how physically available he is for Dennis. 

And fair enough, there’s always been a certain tension between them, but these days when they have a bit of a moment, there’s this huge surge of energy that goes through him, paralyzing Dennis the moment he realizes Mac’s gonna go for it. He pre-activates, as his asshole shrink back in North Dakota would say, which apparently is like getting into fight-or-flight mode, and then not being able to either fight or fly. Or satisfy what his body is getting hyped up for. All he can do is either generate enough anxiety to power up the whole of Pennsylvania, or separate himself from what’s happening, turning himself off and shutting Mac down every time. 

He decides to shut him down for good, organizes a seminar under the pretext of warning the gang about their creepy, harassing ways, and sends a clear message to Mac and himself. 

_ It’s never gonna happen. Not willingly.  _

He doesn’t want this. He just doesn’t. 

He hasn’t wanted this in years. 

… 

And it works. Mac backs off and doesn’t try to kiss him anymore. 

Dennis fears a relapse at some point, when they are organizing their Pride Parade float strategy, because c’mon. They have handed Mac a golden opportunity to be the protagonist on the (second) gayest makeover the bar has ever experienced. Charlie is even rigging the float so that water streams down Mac’s naked, possibly leather-bound torso, for fuck’s sake. 

Although the leather is just an assumption on Dennis’ part. 

However, Mac gets increasingly moody as the day approaches, sitting around the apartment, buying peaches he never eats. He just stares at them, strewn around the house. Dennis puts it down to him rejecting his advances in front of everybody. The poor guy’s probably still hurting. 

But in the end, it turns out to have nothing to do with Dennis. Mac does his whole thing, never sharing a word about it with Dennis, and choosing Frank, of all people, to be his confidant. 

Maybe Dennis had been a bit tough on Mac during the past year, perhaps his high standard for what Mac and their friendship needs to be has made him a bit unapproachable, hence Mac keeping his otherworldly gay dance that changed the lives of 130 inmates secret from Dennis. 

Whatever. Mac is a simpleton who doesn’t understand the importance of keeping the status quo. The gang needs to be micromanaged, otherwise they will end up finding another Cindy that will lead them to useless, bland schemes. 

He’s the head cow, goddamnit! 

He’s a leader, an alpha. A dom, more often than not these days. He goes to Craigslist’s rock-bottom because there’s a menacing fog swirling inside him and freaky sex was always a good way to silence that sort of phenomenon. He probably still has a lot of pent-up sexual tension, what with the months in North Dakota trying to make it work with Mandy. And after they gave up, well, he couldn’t be bringing one-night-stands to his baby-mama’s place. 

That would be distasteful, even for a self-proclaimed bastard. 

Freaky sex helps until it doesn’t. Maybe his control issues have made him too repetitive. Having every step laid out has always been a great source of comfort, but where is the thrill in that? 

That must be why he stops. And then the greyness settles in.

Mac’s stopped his advances for real. It is rather impressive, for such a clingy guy, a guy that’s had an obsession with Dennis since they were in their twenties, or since God knows when.

One day, Mac comes up with a scheme that sounds like a good way to get rid of the greyness. They’re gonna trick some cute meat into having sex with Dennis. Mac has spun a web of pseudo-romantic justifications around it, though, and Dennis doesn’t want to entertain that notion. 

Romance is not for him. Romance can’t handle a force such as Dennis. 

His façade of cold control crumbles down when the cute meat’s husband appears, and suddenly Mac’s web seems a lot less romantic and a lot more threatening. Inexplicably, Dennis still finds himself in Mac’s room. He had stared at Mac warily when he had jumped on the bed, patting the empty side and nearly giggling. That olive sweater brings out the green flecks in his hazel eyes. 

And yes, his heart is going to jump out of his throat, but he still lays down. 

There we go, Mac’s back. Mac’s back with his desperate attempts to get in Dennis’ pants, it was only a matter of time. Nice while it lasted, but Dennis had always known it wasn’t that easy for Mac to just give up. 

Dennis is afraid. He’s terrified because he just… isn’t. He’s on Mac’s bed, on his back, feeling the warmth wafting from the body next to him, expecting to be jumped at any second, and somehow none of those things are scaring him. 

Dennis is nervous as all hell, though. The image of the bathroom flooding comes to mind again, and this time his hands are slippery on the doorknob. 

Mac does nothing. He stares at Dennis like he hung the stars in the sky, but he doesn’t reach out, the kiss never comes, and Dennis doesn’t know what they’re doing anymore. An essential part of the gang’s structure is malfunctioning. 

Frank is still gross, Charlie is still random, Dee continues to be a bitch. 

Mac is still gay, but not for Dennis. 

And Dennis is not a bastard. He’s just depressed. 

… 

In the immortal words of Joni Mitchell: you don't know what you got 'til it's gone.

How irritating it is for him to realize that he only needed time to cope with his feelings, feelings he didn’t even understand until now. Well, he knew he had them, but he didn’t know, or, in hindsight, maybe he just couldn’t handle that they were about Mac. 

Not only that but by the time he finally puts two and two together, it’s already too late and Mac has moved on. 

Oooh, what a fucking mess. Dennis feels like five  skeins of yarn that have unraveled on a dirty floor, and that a kid with poor motor skills has tried to roll back again. 

He needs to fix this. He really tries, but he can’t simply-- He can’t just go to Mac and say, hey man, sorry, turns out it wasn’t a  _ never _ it was a  _ not yet _ ! I thought it would be too much, but it is exactly what I need. 

Absurd. Where’s the finesse in that? 

Still, something needs to be done. He tries to get it back. He sits next to Mac when they go to the Thundergun focus group thing, not just while they’re watching that piece of crap ( ninety minutes he'll never get back ), but also when they go to the meeting room to rip the film apart. He even pushes Dee a little when he thinks she’s gonna take the chair next to Mac. 

And while they’re all passionate about the dong shot, well, Dennis adds a little more enthusiasm. Not that it’s elegant to try to give the go-ahead to your hope-to-be-more-than-friend-and-roommate by basically yelling you want dick or death, but he’s working with the opportunities life presents to him. He’s also dealing with two very dumb men (one of them being him) and nearly thirty years of twisted history. 

When they get home, Mac still seems to be frustratingly unaware, and Dennis gets pissed off because his signals are not being read properly, and he gets this notion in his head that Mac wants to humiliate him, to make him beg now, revenge for all the years of manipulation, and teasing, and ultimate rejection. He is aware this is not real, much like getting upset at somebody for something they did to you in a dream, but he can’t help it. 

Fucking Dee Day is a trainwreck for him. The whole thing throws everybody off, but Dennis takes such a hit. He knows Mac wants to make it better when they come back to the apartment. Dennis has had time to put himself back together, but he feels frail and ugly beyond repair, and when Mac offers to draw a bath for him, and order takeout from his favorite place, it is a hand squeezing his heart and he can’t handle it. He just goes to bed. They have another full Dee Day the next day, after all. 

It’s only when he’s in bed that he remembers Mac pointing at his crotch, saying he wants that in the tiniest voice. Dennis had barely managed to reply, considering everybody was watching and he needed to keep Charlie laser-focused. 

But he said it was alright, didn’t he? What else did Mac want?

_ I want what’s in your pants… _

...Does he, though? After seeing him like that, no makeup, shitty clothes, fucked-up hair, does Mac still want him? Did he ever really want him, or has Dennis created a Pavlovian response in him, through years of psychological torture? 

The whole choking episode seems to confirm this to Dennis. 

Mac doesn’t even know how to think without Dennis telling him how to, the man needs Dennis to choose his food for him, for Christ’s sake. Dennis has tricked him into liking salad, tea, and a 10 PM bedtime, what makes him think he hasn’t trained the idiot to believe he’s in love with Dennis?

The RPG comes to mind. And while Dennis doesn’t know if there’s hope for him, he wants to believe there is.

He lets Mac get properly close, maybe that way the oaf will realize and finally make a move. He allows Mac to massage his calves, tape his ankles, make him shakes, all the while handling his fussing with minimal disgruntlement (okay, maybe not that minimal; he still bitches about it a lot). It’s not perfect, because Mac still needs Dennis to steer him into the right direction every two steps, endlessly seeking reassurance that each one of his gestures pleases Dennis. 

Dennis likes power, he does. But at this point, power brings in a responsibility he’s too exhausted to shoulder. and he doesn’t enjoy having turned Mac into a disoriented puppy, pissing itself because Dennis hasn’t ordered it to go to the yard for a pee-pee. After all, Mac performs best when he’s on autopilot - the minute he starts overthinking is when he always loses the plot.

He can’t even unleash his full irritation about Mac insisting on giving Dennis the reins, because Dennis was the one that started this dynamic. This was the safe space Dennis constructed, so he could control Mac’s displays of affection into something he could accept. In the same way, micromanaging as much of Mac’s life as he could was the only form of caring he allowed himself.

And Mac learned all this, word by word, made the necessary adjustments, like he always does, and played along. The unfairness of lashing at him now for staying in character can’t be ignored. Dennis taught Mac this was all he - they, could have, and he’s learned to be satisfied by it. It’s not his fault Dennis can’t anymore. 

But he simply can’t reveal that. Not yet. 

In the end, Dennis is still entrusted with a responsibility he can’t - he refuses - to take on. 

Which is why he lets the son of a bitch poison him.

Say whatever you want about Dennis, but drinking mushed-up pizza and soda requires real commitment. Never mind how much the gluten and sugar make him feel like absolute shit; the mere taste of that sludge will haunt him for life, like Cricket’s horse turd. 

As Mac lifts him off the ground, he accepts that it’s a relatively small price to pay. Dennis even gets a full five minutes total nestled in his arms, nosing the side of his neck - delightful despite the time spent with his ass on the asphalt every time the idiot drops him. 

That’s Mac’s downfall, his lack of finesse. It’s okay when they are alone, but Dennis can’t let it pass in front of Charlie, it would be too obvious. However, he has to admit Mac does all right, even if his form is off. 

That said, Mac still doesn’t fucking cross the line. He has massaged Dennis’ entire body, carried him bridal style to his bed, had innumerable nights since with Dennis practically laying on top of him on the sofa, they have been in several stages of drunkenness around each other, and still. Mac won’t try to kiss him anymore. His touches are painfully selfless. 

It fucking gets on his nerves, and Dennis is still pissed off when they go to the zoo, and then Mac pisses him off even more with the stupid fucking texting, IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY, so many useless panicky words to declare nothing, when all Dennis needs from him is to take his hints and make a fucking move, because DENNIS CAN’T. 

He just. He can’t. 

But he needs to take a breather from the whole thing, because being angry all the time is so exhausting that it’s making him look gaunt, and not in a good way. 

_ Trust the structure.  _

But this is not a structure he knows or controls, how can he trust it? 

He feels he will inevitably end up all alone, when Mac finally gets fed up, with Charlie and Dee probably following suit. He’s slowly walking into a chapter of his life in which the greyness will be his only companion because he’s forgotten how to be human.

…

There’s a heatwave, the AC can’t cope, and it’s a fucking disaster. Let alone those animals ravaging the bar, the floor covered in all sorts of sludge and filth, and his foundation (which was supposed to be long-wearing, he’s gonna rip Clinique a new one on social media) being completely lost in gallons of sweat-- 

It’s a disaster and it’s his fault because things were heating up, he was feeling good about himself, he was even enjoying the banter with Mac a little bit, despite his being annoying and bringing up nonsense about God. He’s also had a couple of really good weeks in the gym, had actually listened to one of the trainers, and had been eating more (a little bit, just enough protein to give a kick to his pecs, which weren’t as flush as they used to be). 

So, Dennis takes off his tank top. And the relief of feeling some air on his sweat-covered skin is indeed very pleasant, but has nothing on Mac looking at him. He’s holding a crate full of glasses that must weigh a ton, but he doesn’t seem to mind as his eyes travel down Dennis' chest and stomach. Mac shifts the crate with one arm, propping it against his hip, and pulls at the neck of his muscle shirt with the other.

“Hot, right?” says Dennis, and nearly giggles in delight at Mac’s flush. He takes pity on him, grabbing a stack of unopened bills and fanning himself with them, pretending he didn’t mean exactly what he meant.

“Right,” Mac replies. He clears his throat. “Yeah man, I’m boiling.” He makes a vague gesture at Dennis’s naked torso. “That’s actually a good idea.”

And that’s when it all goes downhill because the asshole puts the crate down on the bar and takes off his shirt. 

Dennis' mouth goes so dry. Mac has toned down the musculature a bit since last year, but he’s still nothing short of a Michelangelo statue, goddamnit, shining in the colors of the bisexual flag thanks to the neons in the bar, and isn’t that fucking apt?

The night goes on, their clientele gets more and more annoying, as all humans do, and Dennis feels his grip loosening. Mac is talking his God bullshit, and it’s annoying as shit, but he can’t find it in him to get angry. No. His brain is locked on Mac’s chest. Every time he looks at his Adonis belt he loses his breath like he got punched in the gut. All he’s thinking about is lapping at his nipples, which are very different from Dennis’s, and somehow that’s doing something for him. 

Maybe, if Dennis managed to tie Mac up, he could lick his nipples until he begged for mercy and then he would admit that Dennis, not God, fucking provideth. 

The heat is getting to him. They need to get all these people to calm down. 

And of course, people being people, they turn into complete animals, just as Frank predicted, and Dee arrives with the ice, only in time for him to serve them all some vodka on the rocks to chase their lukewarm beers because that’s the one bottle of hard liquor that survived. 

They drink silently, watching Dee losing her shit at her trainwreck of Instagram stories. Mac and Dennis lock eyes, Mac eye rolls at Dee, and mouths “bird.” Dennis smiles, not just because she does look like a bird, but also because the small exchange feels like a win. Not a huge one, but he’ll take it. 

… 

They come back to the bar after laser tag. Dennis is feeling a bit shaken, but triumphant. He feels like throwing Mac a bone, now that he doesn’t have to think about their team strategy and protecting the base. 

“Hey buddy, here you go,” he says, serving him a Scotch before pouring one for himself. Mac raises his eyes to him, and his mopey expression changes into that of a puppy that’s been offered a car ride. 

“Thanks, bro.”

Artemis pops by, grabs a stool, and asks for a beer Dennis already knows she’s not going to pay for. She’s waiting for Frank to join her for some disgusting debauchery. Frank is on the phone, barking the odd Vietnamese command. She glances around, looking bored to death. 

“Guys, how many combos in the gang?” she asks. 

Dennis frowns at her, not quite getting what she means.

“Combos?” he asks. 

“You know, you’ve known each other for yonks, I’m sure you’ve all gotten it on with each other at some point.”

Dennis is about to give her a firm yet deliberately uninterested “Nah,” but Dee, who’s been fighting with Charlie about how kombucha brewing isn’t the same as him leaving his cat food cans opened around his apartment, interrupts her lecture on botulism, and carves an unsettling smile on her face. 

“Dee and Charlie, but it wasn’t consensual so we’re not counting it,” Mac says and Dee’s Jack O’ Lantern smile drops. Ha. Serves you right.

“Hey!” both Charlie and Dee screech. 

“C’mon man, that’s nobody’s business!” Charlie yells. “I don’t want people to know, dude, shut up.”

“I don’t want people to know either!” Dee screams, very red in the face. “Banging you is nothing to brag about, Charlie.”

“Well that’s boring,” Artemis says. “Makes me wonder what is a free spirit like Frank doing hanging out with a bunch of squares like you.”

“Yeah, we’re fine with that, Artemis,” Dennis quips. “We have an abysmal boys-to-girls ratio, and the only girl in the gang is also my sister. So. Pass.”

Artemis shrugs and lights up a blunt. 

“That’s not entirely true, you know,” Dee says. 

Dennis scoffs. “What, you’re not my sister?”

“Asshole. There have been more combos in the gang.”

“I knew Dee and Mac banged!” Artemis exclaims, triumphant. Dennis glares at Mac before he can school his features. Bitch better don’t. 

“No, not Mac and me! And not banging, as far as I know. But these jabronis had some kissy-kissy when we were in high school.”

Artemis is eyeing them with reddened eyes, nodding while she puffs. “That’s hot,” she says, exhaling the pungent-smelling smoke. Artemis always brings serious skunk, Dennis feels a second-hand high coming.

Is that why he’s feeling panicky? Because it cannot be because of what they’re discussing, because he hasn’t given a shit about that chapter of their lives since 1995. He’s got bigger fish to fry now, right?

“Dee, what are you talking about?” Charlie asks, bewildered. Mac is also looking at Dee like she’s talking shit but he won’t make eye contact with Denis, somehow. 

“You don’t remember? Charlie, you kissed Mac to get goth girls horny when we were in high school.”

Realization downs on Charlie. 

“Ooooh man, the goth girls! Oh my, God Dee, you’re right, they were all over it, remember Mac?” Mac starts to nod. 

“Yeah man, they were great,” he says. “They got a bit annoying about us making out in the end, though, so we had to put a stop to it.”

Wait, what?

“Yeah, it got a bit weird,” Charlie agrees. He opens a beer and silently hands Mac another, the diligent little imp. Mac hasn’t even asked for a beer, maybe he doesn’t want one. Dennis has just handed him a perfectly good Scotch. But of course, Mac smiles and takes the beer too, because apparently they still share the one brain cell, as they did in high school. 

“Weird how?” asks Artemis, walking behind the bar and grabbing a bag of pork rinds.

“Like, we would make out with them, right?“ Charlie says, “And they would stop and just be like why don’t you kiss for a while, we’re really into it, and we would, and then we’d ask them to do the same and they wouldn’t, so it wasn’t really fair, was it?”

“What??”

Everybody turns to Dennis, who can still feel his out high-pitch question ringing in his ears. God, he feels sick. Mac is finally looking at him, and he’s doing that squinty grimace he always does when he has to apologize to Dennis about something dumb he’s done. 

Only this doesn’t feel like something dumb, this is-- why wouldn’t they tell him they had carried on with the whole making out scheme? He did ask, and they lied to him, the slanderous little shits! 

“Sorry we didn’t tell you about that, Den,” Mac says. Dennis knows it’s idiotic to get this worked up about something that happened 25 years ago, and can do absolutely nothing to put a stop to it. 

“Yeah man, don’t take it personally, we were embarrassed, and all weirded out because we were getting, like, confused teenage boners about it,” Charlie says. 

“Well, mine weren’t confused,” Mac adds. “In hindsight. But it messed us up.”

How. How is it just that easy for Charlie to say that? Dennis’ head is reeling; he can feel a clammy sheen of cold sweat on his face, that he knows must be making him all shiny and gross under the bar’s unflattering lights. 

“What about Dennis?” Artemis asks, with a mouth full of pork sub-product. 

“No, we did not kiss Dennis,” Charlie answers, and he’s frowning, trying to remember. “Why was Dennis not involved, again?”

There we go. Dennis is already blushing, and isn’t that stupid? He hasn’t been called brace face in 25 years, his teeth have been complimented by hundreds of women, men, dentists and orthodontists since, and yet this is still a weak spot for him. 

“You thought I looked too nerdy with my braces,” Dennis says, putting his finger in the wound. Better to draw the first blood himself. 

“Ooh, wrong!” Dee exclaimed. She has that Grinch smile again and Dennis resists the impulse to warn her about wrinkles. Fuck her, let her face become a ballsack with features. “I know the real reason. Shall I tell him, Ronnie?”

“Whatever, Dee,” Mac says, but he’s giving her a look that stops Dennis from calling Dee a bullshitter. 

“What? What is it?” Artemis is looking at Dee, then Mac, then back at Dee, wearing a delighted expression like she’s watching the best Wimbledon performance ever. 

“Because Mac was worried he--” Dee begins to say, but Mac interrupts her, looking put off.

“Shut up Dee, Dennis doesn’t wanna hear about this kinda thing.” Dennis has nearly stopped breathing, he’s so intent on not missing a single word. 

“What! It’s not a big deal, guys! Hey, I was on your side, I think you made the right decision.”

“For the love of God, just say it!” Artemis says, sounding like she tried to yell at them but she’s too baked to do it properly, so it comes out a bit slow-motion. 

“They just didn’t want Dennis to kiss them and then go to Adriano and the other popular kids and laugh at them.”

The silence is... unprecedented, in how  _ weird _ it is. Like none of them were expecting those words at all, and they just can’t make up their mind as to how to react. Even Mac and Charlie are looking at Dee like she is on bath salts. 

“Dee,” Mac says, frowning at her. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Yeah, Dee, shut your mouth!” Charlie quips. “Always chiming in, you have no idea.”

“Oh, I see, are you still scared of him or what? Don’t lie guys, you know he was going to pull the Golden God routine, and he was going to laugh about you acting all queer!”

There’s another feeling washing over Dennis. It’s not better than the embarrassment, it’s way worse. He feels… guilt. Even though Dee’s wrong, and he didn’t do it, Dennis could have totally done it. Weirdly, he doesn’t remember a single moment in his rage after the braces fiasco when he felt the impulse of hurting them by telling everything to Adriano and his gang. 

But he could have. It was only dumb luck he didn’t. 

“Nah, you’re talking shit,” Mac says, matter-of-fact, and downs his Scotch. “I mean, for one thing, he would have had to admit to Adriano he was hanging out with us, which he would never have done. But even if he could, Dennis wouldn’t have told on us, Dee!”

“How sweet,” Dee replies in a sour tone. “More the fool you, he totally told Adriano.”

“What? No, I didn’t, you bitch!”

“Then why were they calling them fags all the time?”

“They were calling everybody fags, Dee. I don’t know if you noticed, but that’s how that pack bonded, they just tried to out-hetero each other,” Dennis feels a bit hurt, and it’s not the first time it’s because his twin sister seems to not know him at all.

Although, fair enough. He would have doubted himself too. 

“Nah, we didn’t think Dennis was gonna rat us out, Dee,” Charlie is eyeing Artemis’s blunt, and Dennis knows he’s thinking about asking her if he can eat the roach. “Mac hadn’t kissed anybody, and didn’t want Dennis to give him shit about it.”

A lot of things happen after those words. Frank hangs up the phone loudly and burps even louder. Dee screeches a “whaaaaaaat??”, Charlie starts yelling “Oh, come on, grow up!” in an even higher pitch. Artemis starts laughing, for some reason, and the sip of Scotch Dennis had taken right when Charlie had spoken has decided to travel through the wrong pipe, and now he’s coughing and spluttering. 

“God. Damn. It.” Mac lets his head fall on the bar, hitting his forehead repeatedly. “Charlie, you son of a bitch, you promised you’d never tell!”

“I did. I’m sorry, I completely forgot, man.”

“What kind of friend are you??” Mac’s getting more pissed off, doing a sort of angry version of jazz hands. His eyebrows are furrowing so hard it’s comical, even more so now that his forehead is bright red from hitting the bar. “I ask you to keep the one secret, and you go and betray me, bro?”

“I’m really sorry Mac, but I just can’t keep count of all the secrets I’ve had to keep through the years, and then sometimes you’ll tell me oh man keep this secret and then Dennis already knows  _ anyway _ , so I don’t know, I’m a simple man, you keep your own secrets!”

To be fair, Charlie’s memory has never been great, especially after years of huffing chemicals. And there’s no denying that they’re all getting old. Look at them, sitting at their empty bar and telling each other stories from 25-ish years ago, like a bunch of octogenarians. 

“How old were you, exactly?” Artemis asks. Frank is next to her, eating a pickled egg and feeding her bites of it, a truly revolting spectacle. 

“...I was fifteen,” Mac says, blushing furiously. “You guys don’t get it, I was being a good Catholic boy, I was keeping my head down, away from girls and temptation and--”

“More like you didn’t hit puberty until that year, Ronnie,” Dee quips, and Mac jumps at her, hands out to strangle. Dee jumps behind the bar before he can reach her. 

“You bitch, you absolute bitch!” Mac screams.

“I’m right and you know it, you under-developed twink!” Dee replies, pointing with a sharp finger. “You looked like a ten-year-old until you were thirteen, and for the next two years you looked like Charlie’s butch sister!”

It’s all so absurd, Dennis starts laughing. He’s very tired already, he’s spent hours in a laser tag arena, trying to play a young man’s game even though he is definitely not young. But he feels lighthearted in a way he hasn’t for many months now. 

Charlie’s just eating peanuts and watching Mac and Dee fight now, and at some point he makes eye contact with Dennis and grins, so open that Dennis has to remind himself to stop feeling defensive about Charlie, and what he and Mac have.

He still has a shadow of resentment, though. Yeah, he would have definitely been a dick to Mac if his kissing had sucked, but was that reason enough to choose Charlie instead? A man who doesn’t own a toothbrush? Dennis spends some minutes, while Mac and Dee are trying to out-yell each other, fantasizing about an alternate universe where Mac very shyly admits his inexperience to Dennis, and then asks to be taught. 

Dennis is not quite getting hot under the collar about it, but his heart seizes with an impossible fondness. He’s looking at Mac now, and the feeling is still there, loud like the beat of a drum.

He snaps from his daydream, downs the dregs of his Scotch, and rubs his face, feeling tired. So tired, he’s ready to just let it go. He walks out of the bar area and grabs the stool next to Mac, who’s calmer now, but still looks grumpy. Dee’s gone back to the conversation about kombucha with Charlie, and Artemis and Frank have disappeared, most likely already banging somewhere gross. 

“Hey man,” Dennis says, and doesn’t even care that Mac is not looking at him in the eye when he replies with his own soft  _ hey _ . “Don’t let it get to you, move past it.”

“I know, it’s just… It’s stupid. I’m tired.”

He does look tired, as tired as Dennis feels, which is no surprise since Dennis spent all

afternoon at the Laser Tag Fun Zone riling him up. Exhaustion was bound to catch up with him at some point. Mac has more stamina these days thanks to all the exercise, but it wasn’t that long ago that he was famous for falling asleep around the bar, sometimes while the whole gang was deep in conversation. His head would just nod off, like a tired duckling’s. 

“It’s just,” Mac practically whispers, “it’s like I’m always gonna be a late bloomer, you know? It took twice as long as you and Charlie for my balls to drop. It took me  _ years _ to admit I like men. And, I don’t know, I’m starting to feel it’s gonna take me so long to find somebody, I might actually die before it happens.”

His heart drums away, just as intensely as before. Dennis is nearly floored. He places an arm around Mac’s shoulders, giving him a comforting squeeze (to comfort whom, he’s not quite sure). 

“Oh, I wouldn’t know about that,” he says. He clears his throat and makes sure Dee and Charlie can hear the next bit. “And hey, forget about this first kiss thing. You did more than ok that time at the Whirlpool, so maybe it was a good thing you practiced with Charlie.”

He was expecting them to lose their shit a bit more, but they just quiet down and turn to them, looking like they don’t believe they heard properly. Slowly, Dee starts to look like Christmas came early.

“Wait. You and Dennis kissed?” Charlie asks, and Mac does that thing where he tries to tuck a non-existent lock of hair behind his ear, looking bashful. “Not cool man! You’re supposed to tell me these things, c’mon!”

“Come on, don’t be upset, Charlie! You heard Dennis, your training worked! It’s like you’re my

kissing sensei, like Mr. Miyagi but for making out.”

That seems to pacify Charlie. “Well, I do speak Chinese, like Miyagi.”

“Miyagi was Japanese, you turkey,” Dee says. “And you speak neither.”

And with that Dee and Charlie are back at it. Dennis still has an arm around Mac. He glances down at him, stifles a yawn, and smiles when Mac yawns immediately after. 

“I’m beat,” Dennis says. “Let’s go home.”

… 

  
  


The ride home was lovely. Steve Winwood’s  _ Can’t Find My Way Home _ is on the radio, and they both sing softly along, Mac only joining for the chorus. Dennis asks Mac if he wants to get food, but Mac reminds him they have Chinese leftovers at home. 

“We don’t have anything sweet, though,” he says. “Do you want to grab one of those melt-in-the-middle chocolate things you like?”

Again, that… fondness. There’s no other word for it, and it seems to Dennis it shouldn’t be such a boringly pleasant feeling, shouldn’t it? His loins should be on fire looking at Mac, or his heart should stop and stutter. 

But no, he just feels like smiling beatifically at the man he’s in love with, just because he remembers about Dennis’s sweet tooth.

Dennis breathes through the sudden panic that last thought ignites, tries to tell Mac casually he’s fine without dessert tonight. Calm the fuck down, Reynolds, he says to himself, don’t fuck it up, you’ve got this. What the fuck was he expecting to find at the core of this whole thing? Clearly, he’s in love with the man. 

“I can be so stupid sometimes,” he says out loud when he opens the door to their apartment. 

“Don’t say that Dennis, you’re like the smartest guy I know!” Mac replies. “Don’t put yourself down.”

“...I’ll give it a try.”

They sit down and eat their Chinese. Dennis is astonished by how good his Mapo tofu is, his palate is practically singing, the spices are burning his mouth in the best way. He’s even making some delighted noises. Was food this good, ever?

“Is it good?” Mac asks, looking delighted at the way Dennis is eating. Dennis fights hard to not come back with his usual ‘you’re the one that’s good’ line because it feels a tad tacky, not special enough. He’ll come up with something later. 

They are both tired, but Dennis doesn’t want to go to bed without talking with Mac. And it’s not like they ever go to bed immediately after eating. That buys him some time. They sit down on the couch and put the TV on, not looking for anything special, just something to look at while they digest. 

“Today got… kinda strange,” Mac says, staring into space.

“It’s been a strange year,” Dennis adds. He wants to apologize for playing with Mac’s head again today, but he doesn’t know what to say on that topic. He kinda has more pressing things to confess first, so he should pace himself. 

He clears his throat. His voice breaks on the first syllable anyway, so he tries again. 

“I was upset for the longest time about the whole braces thing,” he chooses, as a starting point. Mac scrunches his face again, looking apologetic. 

“We didn’t know it was such a weak spot for you, man! We were all insecure, but even with the braces you were always cooler than us, so, whatever.” He chuckles. 

“What did you think Dee was going to say?” Dennis asks. Mac stops smiling, which is not ideal, and starts to fidget. He taps his knee with his fingers, taps his foot on the floor. 

“Oh, just, you know.” Why does he sound sad? “That I didn’t want to kiss you because I was afraid I’d cream my shorts or something.” 

Oh. Well, that is a bit sexy. 

“I know it makes you uncomfortable,” Mac adds. “So I’m glad she didn’t say it.”

“Even if it ended with Charlie telling us your big secret?” Dennis asks. He’s moved half an inch towards Mac, lured by his body heat. And him, in general. 

“Well, I--” Mac seems to realize they are getting closer, and it’s a bit like the time at the Whirlpool when he just became aware of Dennis’ proximity just before they kissed. He tries to act casual about it, Dennis can tell, clears his throat, and wills himself to stay still, like Dennis is a loose tiger circling him. “I can take it.”

“Mmmh,” Dennis hums in agreement. He forces himself to give Mac a bit of space. He’s feeling very predatory at the moment, he’s tingling, his pre-activation more manageable when he’s the one making the move. But this isn’t about him doing as he pleases, this is about him asking Mac if he still wants to. 

“I made it weird, that night, after the Whirlpool,” he blurts, catching Mac by surprise, shaking him out of his stillness. “I know I did, I’m sorry.”

“Oh man, is this still eating at you? Look, it’s okay, we were just kids and I--”

“I know. But I-- Look, I need to come clean. I planned it, okay? I got upset because you didn’t

want to do the make out scheme with me, and when I got my braces off I-- I guess I needed to

make a point. So I--”

“Den, c’mon, don’t put all of this on your shoulders! You were probably a little weirded out by me kissing you, it’s fine,” Mac says, and Dennis can’t believe how deluded this man is.

“Mac. Mac,  _ I _ kissed you” 

“What? No man, I remember, I--” he’s a bit lost for words. “Wait.”

“I planned the whole thing,” Dennis takes a hold of Mac’s forearm, grounding himself. “I took you to Rico’s, I got you a bit tipsy, I convinced you to go to the club and then I made the move. Then I totally freaked out, and went off the next day and asked Maureen Ponderosa out, without even saying anything to you, just… I was being a jerk, okay?”

Well, that’s not how he had pictured the conversation going, but if those words needed out, they needed out. Mac is staring at him, processing all that, and then he just giggles. 

“What?” Dennis asks, confused. The giggles have turned into full-blown laughter. 

“Oh my god, Den,” he finally manages to say. “That is amazing.” 

“Don’t make fun of me, man,” Dennis warns, letting go of his arm, but Mac holds his hand in place. “I’m here trying to make things right, and you laugh at me??”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just…” he manages to compose himself. “You took me out on a date, bro!”

Dennis opens his mouth but he doesn’t really know how to argue that. He can’t hold the bubble of laughter that escapes him. 

“Ah… Goddamnit, I was trying to be serious about this...”

“I wish I had been able to enjoy it when it happened,” Mac says. He’s staring into the distance. “This cool, beautiful boy takes me out to get cheese fries, and play Street Fighter at the arcade. And then we go to a cool club where I have my first proper kiss, and my kissing doesn’t blow. That should have been incredible.”

Dennis tries to not preen too much at ‘beautiful boy’.

“And all I could do was have a big gay panic about it,” Mac says, shaking his head.”I was really scared to remember that night, for the longest time. The whole Maureen thing was even a relief, believe me dude.” He shakes his head, chuckling. “Also, I remember thinking ‘man, my kissing is so bad he had to kiss a girl to wash it away.’”

“What? What kind of logic is that?”

“It made sense to me! I don’t know, I’m starting to think I don’t read signs very well,” Dennis nearly explodes trying to hold back the sarcasm with that one. “I thought sex with your mom was amazing, but actually I don’t know if it went that great for her.” Dennis bites his tongue. “I kept thinking you wanted me to--” he blushes furiously and trails off before catching momentum again “-- and you had to organize a whole seminar to make me understand that I had to back off.” 

Well, all of that kind of shits on Dennis’ plans. This is exactly the opposite of how he wanted this conversation to go. He tries to steer it back to the right track.

“I’m not the easiest person to read,” he admits. His hand is still on Mac’s arm. He squeezes and is utterly shocked at how rock hard this man is. Mac doesn’t seem to mind. For a guy that aspires to look intimidating, he’s painfully open to physical contact. Denis is barbed wire, compared to Mac. 

“It definitely didn’t blow,” Dennis says, because he can’t just be sitting there, all quiet and gropey. “The kissing. I did freak out, but it was a great date.”

“Oh? So it’s official now that it was a date, you weren’t just trying to make girls horny?” Mac asks, playfully. Yes, here we go, we’re cooking with gas. Dennis inches closer once again. 

“Yeah, well,” he says, going for a huskier tone. He stares down at Mac’s lips, back at his eyes, and he can see his pupils a bit blown out. Maybe it’s the dim light. Dennis hopes it’s not. “You can have that.”

“Wow, so generous,” Mac rolls his eyes at him. It’s okay, Dennis can work with sassy. 

Mac carries on talking, his expression going serious. “I was scared to like it, though. It was like holding a can of beer, right, and somebody’s knocked it around and if I open it it’s gonna explode. So I’m like, cool, fuck it, I won’t even touch it. I’ll just hold it as still as I can. But this beer is like, perfectly ice-cold. I want to drink it so bad, but I know that the moment I open it, it’s gonna get everywhere and make a mess. I could wait until it settles, but then it might be too late, maybe it will be flat, or all warm and gross. And like, I wasn't even sure if I was gonna like the beer! Maybe it was a stupid IPA or something, and then I would be the douchey IPA guy, even if I wanted to change my mind and decide I’m fine with Coors! I didn’t know if it was gonna be better or worse if I gave in and drank it.”

Dennis is impressed. Maybe they do share the one brain cell too. 

“I understand,” he clears his voice, not happy with the slightly choked quality of it. “You were very young. And we didn’t know shit in those days about our sexualities.”

Mac nods, pensive. Dennis is not sure he’s registering what he’s saying. “Dude, there’s so much shit to figure out. I got so many things wrong, after coming out. I still do.”

“You were getting things wrong when you were straight.”

“Wow. Thanks for that, asshole.”

“No, I’m not explaining properly. I mean… Is there a wrong way, once you’ve come to terms with the truth? Once you start listening to what you really want to do, that’s already getting things right, isn’t it? The bit before that, that was the wrong part.”

That gets him a smile, but it’s a dubious one. “Nice save,” Mac concedes. “But I did fuck up, man, you don’t even… After you left I...it was bad.”

“Bad how?” Dennis asks, and the defeated slump of Mac’s shoulders is the saddest thing he’s ever seen. He still gets irritated when the silent pause gets a bit too long. “Are you gonna tell me or…?

“Just… Give me a second man,” Mac asks, raking his fingers through his hair. “It was like I needed to prove something. I was hitting the scene like, every day. And not fun places like the Rainbow, more like, backrooms and shit.”

“Oh,” There’s a dark, sinister animal inside of Dennis that lifts his head a little at that. His head gets briefly filled with images of Mac throwing himself at a myriad of anonymous hands, mouths, and cocks, and it’s a sordidly exciting image. He clears his throat and tries to get his head out of the gutter. “You didn’t like that?”

Mad shakes his head. “It was a thrill, at the beginning. I had just started to get ripped, and it was great to get more attention. I felt like a stud. And I had all this pent up sexual frustration, it was like I popped, I could only think about getting off.”

Dennis chuckles. “Yeah, it was a bit intimidating when I came back, buddy.”

The slump on Mac’s shoulders gets worse, and he looks away with a sad smile. 

Aaah… Dennis could kick himself. 

“Dennis, I’m so sorry about that.” Mac searches his eyes, holding Dennis’s gaze firmly. “I know you didn’t- I know I was a dick, last year, coming on too hard. And I know I’m still too much sometimes.”

His puppy dog eyes, Jesus, Dennis doesn’t even like dogs but they get him every fucking time.

“I even looked into moving out.”

“What??” Panic rises within him, giving him a hot flush. 

“I didn’t know what to do, dude! I couldn’t help myself, and you were hating it. You were hating me. I seriously thought the only way would be to live somewhere else, or else I would carry on doing stupid shit. But I was getting like, so sad. And I didn’t know how long you were really gonna stick around so… I couldn't do it.”

Why can’t Dennis say anything, right now, anything to comfort him and take that defeated expression away? Before he can do anything about it Mac is already trying to lighten the mood for Dennis’s sake, smiling a bit forcefully. 

“It’s so annoying! All my life I’ve talked myself out of a lot of stuff I wanted. You’re the one thing I can’t do without.”

...Son of a bitch. Dennis hates him this instant, he does. Because when people ask them about their relationship, Mac’s love declaration is gonna send anything Dennis has ever said down the fucking toilet. He makes a mental note to start working on that ASAP, preferably including a musical arrangement. 

But, really. Dennis has to kiss him, he needs to kiss his face off this instant. 

He can’t just jump to it, though. He needs to be completely honest with him first; he owes that much to Mac.

“Then don't,” he finally replies to him. Mac doesn’t quite get it, the thick bastard. “You… you can have it.”

Finally, there’s a spark of realization. Mac stares at Dennis with increased intensity and angles his head just so. The electricity between them surges, sudden and intense. It makes Dennis quake in his boots, but this time he’s not bottling it up. He licks his lips, hoping to not look too obvious, and wishes he had brushed his teeth because this is going to be  Szechuan flavored. 

Mac takes his time though. He closes the distance between them, until their foreheads touch. “But… you said it was never gonna happen,” he says, sounding astounded. Dennis swallows with difficulty. He’s shaking like a leaf. He takes hold of Mac’s shoulders, unsteadily sliding both hands up to the sides of his neck, thumbs caressing his stubbly jaw. 

_ By the pricking of my thumbs _ , the old line echoes in the back of his mind, just an involuntary thought. 

“I know,” he says. “I was scared. I… couldn’t handle it, not then. I thought if I stopped it, if I said those words out loud, then it would become true.”

Mac noses at Dennis’ temple and he can feel his smile against his cheek, his huff of laughter in the shell of his ear. 

“Dude, don’t I get  _ that! _ ” He feels more relaxed now, under Dennis’ hands. “Are you really, really sure, though?”

“I’m sure,” Dennis says in a firm voice. “But…. are you? Because-- I know how I am. And how you are. And how I can get you to do things you don’t really want.”

Mac leans back a bit, looking genuinely puzzled at this. He’s holding one of Dennis’s hands in place on his neck, even tipping his head to the side so Dennis can get a better hold, which is very sexy and distracting. His other hand is on Dennis’s thigh, and its heat is like a brand burning through his jeans. 

“Like what, Den?”

“Like, today at laser tag, riling you up like that--” the hand on his thigh is squeezing and he feels like his whole body is waking up to the touch. “Or eating salad. Going to bed early. No coffee past three o’clock.”

Mac snorts. “Dude, we also rage, and drink and go dancing and do drugs.”

“Not so much anymore. I’m getting old.”

“We all are,” Mac agrees. “Den, it’s fine. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you can be an absolute bastard.”

“Yes.”

“Like, I want to strangle you sometimes. But those other things, the salad, the tea… You just want me to do things that are right for me. You’re good at taking care of me.”

Mac is absolutely delusional most of the time, there’s no other word for it. But Dennis wishes people were like Mac sees them. He wishes Luther was a proud dad, and that Mrs. Mac was a caring mum, with a golden heart underneath a tough exterior; instead, they’re hollow, undeserving pieces of shit. 

Mac really deserves better. Deep down, his coping mechanism it’s not so much a delusion as it is a projection. Mac is the one bursting at the seams with pride for his family, he’s the one with an incredibly nurturing nature. He’s the one taking care of Dennis, always, in a myriad of ways. Mac has so much love in his heart and asks so little from all of them. Can they rise to look a little bit like the versions of themselves living in Mac’s head? 

Dennis can try. He will. 

“I still want to give you a fair chance to see if you-- If I’m not too late. If you still want this,” he says. His voice wobbles a bit because Mac’s hand is stroking his thigh up and down and he wants to be good, but also very, very wicked. And he’s burning off some anxiety, too. 

“Dennis,” Mac says, talking to him like he’s donkey-brained. “I always want it.”

Mac doesn’t have it in him to be sultry, or sexy. Well, he’s gained a certain… mature charm in the last couple of years. And dresses better. And does his hair nicer too. 

Dennis is getting side-tracked. 

The thing is, Mac can’t act suave to save his life -- but Dennis’ body is covered in goosebumps at those four words anyway. 

“Right,” he laughs, but it’s more of a gasp. “You’re a hot-blooded man, that doesn’t mean--”

“No, no,” Mac interrupts. “You. I always want you.”

Fuck, man, who’s this guy sitting there, delivering hits left, right, and center? Clown Baby got an upgrade and self-proclaimed playboy Dennis Reynolds can barely keep up. 

“Well. Nothing else to say then.” So he doesn't.

He just closes the distance and kisses Mac, even though he had sworn to himself he was going to let Mac be the one initiating it this time. Fuck it, he’s old and tired, and he’s finally opening the goddamn door and letting all the water out. 

Mac just… opens to him, cradles his head so carefully, getting a hold of his hair. His mouth is soft, lips parted already. It's not like when they were kids, with preliminary pecks before frenching. This is hungrier and less coordinated, if still gentle. 

Dennis was right, it is also Szechuan flavored, but it’s fine. 

Mac is already making noises, soft ‘hmphs’ that vibrate against his lips. His hands finally move, and are now all over Dennis, touching his arms, his back, his ears, even his mouth, in between kisses, like he’s making sure it’s still there. Dennis is breaking in shivers from the beard burn, Mac’s calloused fingers, and the strokes of his tongue against his. 

Jesus fuck this is hot. Dennis feels like his body is waking up again from the stupor of the past months. He’s rock hard already, everything Mac’s doing and everything he’s doing to Mac is a live wire straight to his dick; he doesn’t have a more poetic description for what’s happening right now. 

They have waited long enough, and it shows. Their will-they-won’t-they has been the longest foreplay in history. They are both trying to press each other more and more against the couch, making frustrated grunts at their sitting position because they can’t get enough contact. Dennis swings a leg over Mac, Mac gets a hold of his ass and that’s it, bed. Bed. Bed. BED. 

But yelling ‘BED’ like he wants to is not elegant, and he’s not lost it completely, no matter how good Mac’s kisses are. But they are, fuck, he’s never gonna tell him, he would never hear the end of it. They are the best side of gentle but dirty, like he’s really enjoying himself, and not just checking in First Base. 

If Mac sucks dick like he kisses, Dennis is in for a wild ride. He tries not to think about all the pens he’d had to hide from him. He fails. 

Dennis can’t hold the words crawling out of his throat. “Fuck,” he moans. “So hot.”

“Yeah?” Mac replies. God, not very eloquent, are they? He moves past it because Mac is alternating biting kisses with soft ones to the corners of Dennis’s mouth, which is a part of his body he had never thought to be that sensitive, and he’s just  _ melting _ . 

That’s the point when Mac, the conniving little shit, uses the hold he has once again on Dennis’s curls to pull his head back, exposing his neck, and fucking goes to town. 

“Ah!” It’s so embarrassing, Dennis already sounds wrecked. He’s the one that’s gonna cream his shorts, just from Mac sucking a hickey into his neck, like a fucking teenager.

After a bite that has him curling his toes, Mac’s mouth leaves his neck. Dennis leans in for a kiss, but it never lands. When he opens his eyes he sees that Mac’s trying to undo the buttons on Dennis’s shirt, but he can’t get a hold of them. 

“Goddamnit,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry, I’m way too horny, dude.” 

Dennis laughs and takes care of the shirt, enjoying the way Mac is watching him and stroking his thighs. When he’s done he reaches out to Mac, silently asking for help to get up from the couch. “Bed,” he says, and it doesn’t sound so undignified now. Mac stands up, and they continue to hold hands after Mac pulls him off the couch. Dennis is breathless at the sensation, his whole arm is tingling. 

They head to Dennis’ room, of course, not only because of the looming, threatening presence of way too many crucifixes and the AssPounder4000 ™  in Mac’s room, but also because Mac doesn’t understand the concept of bed linens, and Dennis has high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. It’s a no-brainer. 

Mac is leading the way. He stops at the threshold and turns around, getting a hold of Dennis’s face and kissing him so sweet. Dennis is shrugging his shirt off, tugging at Mac’s top, until he gets the memo and peels it off. 

Oof. It’s probably the only time Dennis has allowed himself to ogle at Mac’s body openly. He couldn’t help it during the heatwave, but now he’s just getting his fill. It slowly dawns on him that he can touch too. He hesitates because he can’t decide where to start, so he just stays there awkwardly, with his hand in the air. 

Mac puts him out of his misery and pulls Dennis’s hand toward his chest, above his heart. Dennis steps closer and Mac doesn’t waste any time before getting a hold of his ass with both hands. It pushes their groins together, making them both groan, first out loud, then into each other’s mouths as they kiss. 

It’s so much, man, Dennis's head is spinning. Not in a bad way, but he’s caressing the ridges of Mac’s abs with one hand while the other is still groping his pec, trying to muster the courage to touch the nipple he’s been fantasizing about (well, both of them), and he feels a bit like swooning. 

Mac smells intoxicating still, muskier than when they were in school but with that familiar rosemary and clean linen base. Their tongues are sliding against each other, the sounds of their kissing getting wetter, and Mac is doing those “mmph” sounds again with each kiss, like Dennis is delicious and he’s taking bites out of him. He lets out a soft whine when Dennis finally strokes his nipple with his thumb, trembles against Dennis’s mouth, says “Den” like a prayer. 

“Bed,” Dennis says again, because if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it, and they are still half-dressed and standing up, which is preposterous. Mac nods and turns around, undoing his belt and letting his Dickies fall to the ground, toeing off his boots, and thankfully the socks are gone too, and suddenly, there he is, in his briefs, on Dennis’ bed. 

He’s staring at Dennis, who has only managed to get a hold of his belt in the time it’s taken Mac to strip. When Dennis unbuckles Mac gives himself a squeeze through his underwear and Dennis’s mouth waters. 

Wow. That’s how gay he is, uh. At least for Mac. His mouth hasn’t watered for any other dick, not even the Thunderdong. 

“Hey,” he hears and shakes him off his stupor. Mac is still stroking himself through his briefs. He has the biggest, cheekiest smile on his face, a truly sexy one. “You’re staring.”

Dennis blushes down to his stomach, tries to hide it by furiously stripping, joining Mac in bed wearing only his boxers. They kiss again, each lying on their sides, but quickly Mac pulls at Dennis so he’ll get on top of him. It’s not subtle how careful he’s being to not scare Dennis off. 

Dennis straddles Mac’s hips. He’s grinding against his abs, and he can feel Mac’s erection against his ass. They haven’t even done anything yet and all his receptors are already on his genitals, he really needs to get a grip. Mac is holding Dennis’ hips, stroking the hip bones with his thumbs, pressing a bit on his iliac muscles with a dexterity that has Dennis very impressed. He’s also pulling down, manhandling him so that Dennis can get more friction on his cock. 

“Jesus,” Dennis gasps. He bends down towards Mac’s mouth, kissing him sloppily. He’s mapping with his hands the extension of Mac’s shoulders, chest, stomach, anywhere he can reach. He strokes down his arms until he gets a hold of his hands, still on his hips, and moves them towards his ass. Mac gets to work there, squeezing him, getting inside his boxers, spreading him a bit. 

“How can you be this soft?” he mutters. Dennis can’t even remember his name, much less his moisturizing regime, but he’ll make a note to tell him later, because he works hard at conditioning his skin, goddamnit. Very nice of Mac to notice. 

Also very nice of him to shift so their dicks are rubbing against each other now. Dennis sucks his tongue into his mouth as a reward, and Mac keens so sweetly. Dennis touches his nipples, broad strokes with the palm of his hands. It makes Mac’s hips  _ jump _ off the bed and gasp. 

When they break their last kiss there’s a delightfully filthy trail of saliva connecting their mouths. 

“You’re so fucking hot, Den,” Mac says, in awe. Dennis kisses him again and sneaks a hand down to his erection. He pulls down Mac’s briefs, closing his hand around his finally uncovered cock. Mac is grabbing at his shoulders, whimpering. Dennis has seen Mac’s dick before, in various stages of arousal, but he’s definitely appreciating it differently now. It is a nice dick, smaller than Dennis’s, but a nice shape and girth. 

His mouth is still watering. Might as well put it to use. He licks the palm of his hand and strokes Mac again, getting a beautiful sound out of him, a throaty, husky moan. He pouts and Dennis gets the memo, kissing him again. 

“What do you want to do?” Dennis asks. Mac swallows hard, Dennis can practically see him trying to force some blood away from his dick and into his brain. 

“Just... I just wanna… Jesus, give me a minute, Den, I--” he takes Dennis by the wrist, moving his hand away. He’s breathing hard. “God. Honestly, it’s fine if we just do hand stuff tonight.”

Dennis snorts. “So poetic,” he mocks. “Okay. Well, get your hands on me then.”

He’s reached a level of zen now, seeing how much he’s affecting Mac, that is deeply comforting. Dennis always performs at his best when his self-esteem is on full blast, and seeing Mac nearly bust a nut from two strokes of Dennis’s hand is doing wonders to calm his nerves in this situation. He can get sassy now that he’s not ridden with crippling doubt.

Mac rises to the challenge, grabbing Dennis and turning them around, so he’s on his back, and slips his underwear off before pulling Dennis’ boxers down too. Dennis is so hard right now, even the air touching his dick feels like too much, but he’s not gonna give Mac the satisfaction of knowing that. He plays it cool until Mac positions them so his hips are cradled between Dennis’s open thighs. His solid, über-masculine weight is so overpowering, Dennis feels pressed to the bed like he’s never been, with Mac’s cock digging into the groove of his hip. He gasps, throwing his head back against the pillows. 

“Oooh fuck…” he moans. Mac latches onto his neck again, lapping at his jugular with a wide, raspy tongue. When he bites at Dennis’s pulse point Dennis has this image of a feral animal holding him in place, keeping him in submission, and he can feel a glob of precome dripping from his dick onto his own stomach. 

Mac kisses his chest, sucking at his nipples lightly. It’s never been a particularly erogenous area for him, but it’s still fucking hot, especially because the scratch of Mac’s beard against his skin is reminding him of how much man he’s dealing with. 

“I do wanna suck your dick,” Mac says, traveling down. He gets close and personal. “Hello there,” he greets it, the loon. “Long time no see, Dennis’ dick.”

“Oh my God, what the fuck are you doing?” Dennis covers his face with both hands, not cringing to the point of losing his hard-on, but close enough. Mac ignores him, closing his hand around his cock. He gives it a squeeze before mouthing at it, rubbing it against his lips and cheeks. He lets it go and it slaps against Dennis’s stomach, where it drips some more. Mac sticks his tongue out and licks a long strip, from balls to frenulum, closing his mouth around the head, sucking softly. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he says, before he licks the precome clean from Dennis’ dick and belly, moaning as if it was honey. He finally starts blowing him properly, and Dennis's vision goes blank for a second. He’s aware that he’s raising his voice, but he can only feel the strain in his throat because all he can hear is white noise while Mac sucks the Christ out of his dick. 

“Oh, God. Ohhh fuck,” he moans. He pries his eyes open and looks down at Mac, who has his closed while taking his full cock, looking like he’s having the time of his life. His mouth is soft and wet around Dennis, his tongue is sticking out on the underside and the suction is so perfect Dennis could cry. 

He could also come in the next two seconds if Mac doesn’t stop. He grabs a handful of hair and tries to pull him away, but it only makes Mac moan around his dick, which gets him dangerously close. He makes a vaguely panicky sound and slaps Mac’s shoulder. 

Mac lets go of his cock right on time, and Dennis gets his index and thumb around the base and squeezes hard, steering away from his orgasm. He’s shaking all over, covered in goosebumps. 

“You okay?” Mac asks. 

“Yeah, just-- you are dangerous,” he laughs, borderline hysterical. Mac is smiling so brightly it’s nearly blinding. 

“C’mon, let me do it some more…” he asks. He peppers open-mouthed kisses all over Dennis’s inner thighs, raking his nails down the outer sides. 

“I nearly came down your throat, you should be thankful,” Dennis has bought himself a couple of seconds to breathe, but his heart is hammering like mad still. Mac licks Dennis' fingers, still around his own dick, before the bastard sucks the middle finger into his mouth. “Aah, fuck! C’mon, man, I wanna come with you, please Mac…”

That seems to be convincing enough. Mac climbs up until he’s laying between Dennis’s legs again. Their naked erections are touching, Mac is also dripping with precome, and he gets it all over Dennis’s stomach. Dennis strokes his back, his hair, his ass. 

“You’re so hot, I’m losing my fucking mind,” he tells Mac, earning a deep kiss that makes something bloom inside of him. His eyes are prickling. He feels raw to Mac’s presence, his heat, his touches, his scent. Mac is looking at him like he’s the most precious thing he’s ever seen, but there’s something else there that makes Dennis feel slutty, too. 

“I wanna see you come first, though,” Mac murmurs against his collarbones. He nibbles at them very carefully, sucks a love bite at the base of Dennis’s throat. “It’s been forever since I got to watch you, I don’t wanna get distracted. Also, you can save the coming down my throat for another day.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Dennis says. Mac moves so he’s lying beside him and replaces Dennis’s punishing hold around his cock with his much gentler hand. He

props himself up for better leverage, and to see Dennis entirely while he strokes him. Dennis doesn’t know what to do with his hands, he would try and grab Mac’s cock too, but the idiot has decided to lay down on Dennis's left, so he just straps in, turning his head to kiss Mac while he feels his orgasm galloping towards him. 

“So. Beautiful.” Mac says, punctuating each word with a deep kiss. He’s keeping a steady rhythm, seemingly in no rush. “I’m gonna be jerking off to your dick in my mouth for a month.”

The dirty talk is his downfall. Dennis comes so hard he thinks he’s dislodged something, his hips shoot away from the bed, he sounds like he’s been stabbed. His whole body is arching up and he’s holding onto the sheets and Mac’s waist for dear life. Mac strokes him through his orgasm, and the minute Dennis can’t come anymore Mac is on him, licking his stomach and chest clean. The image sends a last big shiver down Dennis’s spine, hips spasming one more time into the air. He finally falls back on the bed, gasping for breath and drenched in sweat. 

He reaches out, trying to pull Mac into a kiss. Mac happily obliges. Again he seems so unrushed, so content with licking into Dennis’s mouth, waiting patiently for him to come down from his climax. 

Once his head is clear, Dennis turns on his side, pushing Mac onto his back. He gets the right position, propping himself on his elbow so that he can stroke Mac’s hair while jerking him off. He can kiss him too, like this. Mac moans and moans into his mouth. He is touching his own nipple with one hand, and the other is grabbing Dennis’s hip, digging his fingers into the not-so-firm-anymore flesh. 

“You’ve been so good, baby,” Dennis coos, because he really has been. “You’ve taken such good care of me, let me take care of you now.” Mac whimpers, uttering a warning and coming with a gasp after a particularly deft twist of Dennis’s hand around the head of his cock. Dennis has a stroke of genius and angles Mac’s dick while he’s still coming so that some streaks of semen land on his own face. 

It’s a work of art. Mac’s panting and shivering, still idly touching his nipple, covered in sweat, spit and come. Dennis licks the few drops that have gotten on his lips and beard, feeding it back to him with a last scorching kiss. Mac moans low on his throat, sucking Dennis’ tongue into his mouth. 

“Holy shit,” Mac pants. “Holy fuck, dude.”

“Yes. That.” Dennis agrees, laying back and catching his breath. 

His sweat is getting cold but he can’t find the energy to move. He gets one nasty shudder but doesn't pay attention to it because Mac is getting up and away. 

“Where are you going?” Dennis asks, wincing at how needy he sounds. 

“I’m covered in jizz, dude, I’ll be right back,” Mac says, bending over to give Dennis a kiss that is mostly teeth because he’s smiling so much. 

Dennis feels a bit guilty - he should have been the gentleman and gone to grab a towel or something. Mac comes back three minutes later, warm and clean from an extremely speedy shower. He’s carrying some make-up wipes and a hand towel he’s soaked in hot water for good measure, and uses both to clean Dennis’ torso and groin, even though he did a pretty good job with his tongue before. 

“Move, Den, you’re gonna catch your death if you don’t get under the covers.”

Dennis does as he’s told. It’s so goddamn cozy under the duvet, with Mac’s body close to him, his own personal human stove. Dennis is feeling very tender and soft under Mac’s gaze. He clears his throat, trying to send his awkwardness to fuck off. 

“That was pretty awesome,” he says. Mac makes an agreeing noise. “...So. Better than my mom?”

Mac looks at him like he hasn’t heard properly. Dennis is still waiting for an answer, but Mac just bursts out laughing. How irritating. 

“Never mind,” Dennis says, turning away from him, but Mac chases after him, holding him in his arms, still giggling against the back of his neck. “What’s so funny, asshole?”

“Dennis, that has to be the stupidest question ever. What do you think??”

“I don’t know! You’re the one that’s still banging on about how she was the best you’ve ever had, which is frankly disturbing Mac, you ought to see a shrink. You’re a gay man and you’re stuck on some pussy that’s been pushing daisies for the past twelve years.”

Mac finally stops laughing. He lets out a big sight and spoons Dennis even harder. 

“Don’t talk about your mom like that,” he scolds, and Dennis nearly storms out to sleep on the sofa, but he’s too goddamn tired and he’s all warm now. “Dennis. You’re the fucking love of my life, and you just made me come my brains out, so why do you even have to ask, bro?”

There we go. His throat is all tight again. He turns around. 

“Hey,” Mac greets, whispering. Dennis burrows his face into his chest. 

“Hey,” he replies. “...I would still like an answer.”

“Best. Ever.” 

Happiness blossoms inside him, he’s blushing like mad and can’t control the smile that splits his face in two. “It’s six stars from me,” he tells Mac. 

“No way! Really, dude?” Mac closes his arms around him and gives him a big squeeze that grounds him to the bone. Dennis nods. 

“Six this time. This is just the beginning, after all,” he mumbles. Sleep is taking over. He wants to make sure he says something before he dozes off. “I’m glad I fixed it.”

Mac gives him another full-body squeeze, but it’s softer around the edges than the one before, so he must be falling asleep too.  He goes “Mhmm.”

And with that, they both drift off. 

… 

Dennis has shifted in his sleep throughout the night. He wakes up on his back (his back is hurting too, but that’s been common for the past six years) and desperately needs to piss. He crawls out of bed, still half asleep, relieves himself in the half-darkness. Once he can brave the bathroom lights and he can see himself in the mirror, it hits him. 

It finally happened. He’s not quite smiling, but he notices a lightness on his facial muscles. His chin is still red from Mac’s beard. He has not one, but two very sexy hickies on his neck. 

Fuck yeah, Reynolds. 

Mac walks in, gloriously naked. He is smiling but looks a bit uncertain. 

“Let me brush my teeth,” Dennis says, and the uncertainty is gone. “Brush yours too.”

“I already brushed mine bro, keep up!” he replies and hugs him from behind during the whole process. He has a bit of a morning semi, which Dennis can feel on his buttcheek. The skin-on-skin contact is amazing, and he doesn’t mean it in a sexual way. He feels like he’s recharging, even. He’s only felt this with a handful of girls, back then when he wasn’t quite as cynical. It’s something he gets, too, when Brian Jr. hugs him by his own volition. It’s healing, somehow. 

How mushy. He wrinkles his nose. 

“I need to bend over to spit, behave,” he tells Mac, who giggles in response. Once he’s done, Dennis turns around in his arms and gives him a good morning kiss. Mac does make a noise every time they kiss. This morning it’s a sigh. He gives him a sweet last peck before turning around, glancing at the mirror. 

Damn, they look good together. 

Mac’s caressing his arms and nosing at his neck. “I made coffee,” he says. 

Is it too early to say I love you?

“Do you want to have a cup while I draw you a bath?” Mac adds. 

Dennis lets his head fall back on Mac’s shoulder, and makes a sound of pure bliss. Mac laughs, kisses his neck, and slaps his ass to set him in motion. “Leave it to me.”

Twenty minutes later, Dennis is caffeinated, full (he’s even had a bowl of cereal), and soaking in the tub. He’s sort of using Mac as a recliner and has decided that, despite not being able to look at him (minus 2 points), it’s a great position; he feels sheltered by the expansion of Mac’s chest, and it gives him another way to be the little spoon.

Mac’s shampooing his hair. Dennis must have done something right in a previous life, cause God knows he ain’t earned this during the current one. 

“Remember April 1993?” Dennis asks, sounding nearly stoned. Mac’s massaging his scalp so good, he’s going stupid.

“What about it? Close your eyes, I’m gonna rinse your hair.”

“When Dee and I came back from spring break at the Jersey shore,” Dennis continues.

Mac makes a noise of agreement while applying conditioner to his curls, which Dennis  will definitely have to reward later. “When I came back without the braces.”

“Oh. Yeah, I remember.”

He can hear the smile on his voice. Dennis turns his head around to look him in the eye. Mac kisses him automatically, just because he can.

“You were acting strange that day. Like I was the glasses and ponytail girl that becomes hot after summer camp,” Dennis says.

“You were already hot!”

“Yeah, sure. Admit it, pal, it was the braces, right? You were taken aback because I didn’t look like a nerd anymore.”

Mac’s looking at him like he can’t believe how dumb he is. He’s gonna have to punish that later too. Maybe he'll do a punish-slash-reward combination later, that could be hot. 

“Den, I was in shock because you were smiling so much at me.”

“...Huh?”

“Yeah, you know. At school, you always played it cool, not really hanging with me and Charlie in the halls. I usually tried not to bother myself about it, but you had been gone for a whole week, man, and I missed you. And then you were like, so cheerful. So cute. I was…”

“Speechless?” Dennis supplies.

“Speechless, dude. Exactly. Forget about the braces already, that’s old history.”

Dennis turns around again, sinks deeper in the water, and against Mac’s chest. 

“I don’t know,” he mutters. His hand is reaching back, curling around Mac’s nape, stroking his damp hair. “They had their purpose.”

FIN  
  



End file.
